Choosing a Therapist

Choosing a Therapist is a big decision and there are lots of factors to be considered.

Should I see a psychiatrist, a psychologist, clinical social worker?  Should I see a man or a woman? How much does experience play a role? Should I see a Therapist who specializes in what I think is my problem is or in the type of treatment I think I need?  What about family therapy, couples therapy, psychodynamic therapy, interpersonal therapy?  I think you get the picture. Choosing a therapist can be very a very complicated and confusing problem. But, perhaps it doesn’t have to be. Let’s try and simplify things a little.

 All of the factors that I’ve listed are important, but, they are all secondary to one simple yet profound fact, which is consistently borne out by the research. That one simple fact is, that the best therapist is the one who you feel most comfortable with. 

Think of it this way; if you were going into surgery all you want is the best trained surgeon. The one who has done your procedure a thousand times before. It doesn’t matter if he’s a nice guy or a jerk since you are  asleep through the process.  Psychotherapy is profoundly different and at its heart it is a collaborative process.You and your Therapist work together to figure things out - to explore your inner life. What matters most is that when you walk into that office,  you feel that you have a partner whom you can trust and who makes you feel like you’re not alone with your struggle.

Here’s another important fact.  Some people will tell you that cognitive behavioural therapy is the most effective therapy.  It has been said over and over to the point where even people in the field believe it to be true.  The truth is that it’s not any better that other forms of therapy.  At the end of the day, what matters most is the ability of the therapist, not the school of psychotherapy.  Its like saying that research has proven definitively proven that Italian cuisine is more satisfying than French cuisine.  Any reasonable person would think that that research was absurd.  Doesn’t the ability of the chef matter? How about the customer’s preferences?

So, after over 25 years in this field, this is my advice about choosing a Therapist.  Spend a session with a them and at the end of the hour (or fifty minutes) ask yourself these questions: Do I feel as though the therapist understood me?  Do I feel safe and secure with this person?  Do I have a better understanding of my dilemma than I did before? Do I feel that I’m being seen as a whole person or am I merely being seen as a symptom?  If you can answer yes to these questions, then you’ve got  a good start.  If you can’t answer yes with confidence maybe you should keep looking until you find a better fit. Remember, psychotherapy demands a significant investment in time and money and emotion.  Make sure that you give yourself the best chance of making it a positive experience.